I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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