there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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