In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Boobs are out for the taking
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
