Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
