I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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