fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
