Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she looked like the before picture.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she peed on how many people?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
