she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
