Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
