I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
