Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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