new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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