I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
