Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
