Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
