the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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