who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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