He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
