Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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