wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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