The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
