help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize