Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
