oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
