she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
