Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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