you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
