Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
