You made me cry and you don't even care
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We're too hungover to prance.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
