Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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