Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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