I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
