yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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