You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
