I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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