The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
