No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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