why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
