One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
