evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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