you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
