so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize