Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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