new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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