Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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