More tranny stories later!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
