do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
