Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
