It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
