And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
