Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
