My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
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