Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Bring me that man meat
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
