Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
