Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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