He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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