I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
