do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Your dad touched me again.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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