when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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