Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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