Welp...herpes.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
