4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Life is so much better after having sex.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
