And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
operation have a gay friend backfired
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
