are you still at the devil's house?
I wish I could teleport
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
