If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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