whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize