Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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