i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
