For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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