shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
