She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I need a beard to bite.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
