i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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