He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
