that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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