is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
