the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
