He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We need to get me chipped asap
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
