Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
