We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
