Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
